Being Broke Sucks

So I tried to change my blog layout today only to discover that my subscription to the layout… thing expired and I’m not really in a position to renew. WordPress has many advantages and is really a great blogging tool with it’s easy to use interface, large web storage for media on the site… but it does have a semi major flaw in that I cannot actually edit the website unless I pay. However, if I pay to edit the website I actually can’t change the main components, just the RSS (colours of links, colours of the background, text size, etc.).

That was something I really enjoyed with my prior blog actually and I’m relatively perturbed that I can’t do it here. It was a great creative outlet for me. Being a programmer by trade I just really enjoyed the opportunity to put my skills to use, and when I have opportunities to integrate design with function… well that’s a big old Nerd-gasm for me.

Anyways, back to being broke.

I’m not entirely broke. Looks like I’ll have enough money to make bills this month, it’s just that I don’t have a lot of breathing room on that accord. Business has been picking up steadily but what I need to do is take some money and put some advertising in the paper… just… can’t afford to do that right now. It’s a conundrum to say the least. I’m not a particular fan of being broke (or close to it) as I am generous in nature, or so most people would note of me. And in all honesty, after spending most of last year in financial crisis, it was starting to feel good to be doing more than just treading water.

Guess that’s not God’s plan though.

That’s actually been a bit of a struggle for me. I think I’m just a little warn down from last year and the year before– Buying the van a month before losing my high paying tech job, being kicked out of my home, again, struggling to get my schooling done and to make enough money to pay my bills– when I got the job at the pizza place things started to look up. I kind of figured I’d be okay… but in all honesty I got comfortable. The thought had grazed the surface of consciousness once or twice, “Where is this all going?”, and then God came down and forced me to make a decision.

It does suck being broke, and it’s scary as all hell… But I’m ready. I’m ready to struggle, I’m ready to do this thing and to ride it out to the end.

I’m ready.

Lollerskates

So I’ve just recently moved my computer out of my Girlfriend’s house and into my land-lord’s place. It’s not bad, nice to have Adrianna back to somewhere I can access her first thing or at the end of the day or whatever. Also gives her family some space, which they need right now.

Anyways, the actual reason for this entry is this:

I made this years ago (cripe I’m old) when I first took my computers course. I was so involved with Penny-Arcade, Something Positive, Homestar Runner, Nuklearpower(my first web comic love) and the romanticized idea of just putting something out there, and having people read it, that I made a full website (which I might make available) and a web-comic.

I think the by and large story line for the comic was going to be semi political/pop-culture commentary acted out by sprites, mostly focusing around these two. Blades was going to do angry rants, and I think my ex was going to do art or something… not sure…

Of course, as with almost all things like this, it just kind of fell by the wayside and the people I was in it with kind of just lost interest like I did.

Meh. Something cool from my past. Enjoy.

ERROR: It’s Not My Fault

I don’t know what’s up with the spacing on that last post, I honestly don’t. I was editing it and then when I saved it the spacing was gone.

I’ve tried to put it back twice now, but it’s not workin’ out.

I’ll figure it out another day. 

Welcome Home

When the Girlfriend is gone, the Bear will finaly re-decorate his website.

I’m not quite done yet, but I liked what I had done at this point enough to slap it up and call it something. Just beign able to edit the stylesheet is still somewhat annoying, but I forget how powerful the stylesheet can really be… And I do not want to learn how to code in friggen widgets so I’m happy to just stay here and play around with these pre-defined layouts to match what I want.

And yes, my Girlfriend is gone. She’s on vacation far and away with a family friend. It’s been interesting being here without her and this time apart has made me realize how we have come to define one another.

And as I talk to her on-line the only thing she bloody has to say is “you still cant see the s”. Thanks sparky.

What do you guys think?

Openning my Big Mouth

There will still be a site update… There will be updating… but I’ve run into a very unfortunate problem.

WordPress won’t let me edit the HTML, just the style sheet…. so let me put that in lam-ens terms…. I can’t build my own house, I can only paint one that already exists.

This isn’t a completely horrible fate, nothing I can’t recover from, just not what I was hoping for. That having  been said I really have no desire to remove myself from WordPress, I don’t think I have any earthly desire to go back to having to reference images from photodump. I want to manage it all from one place like a real boy.

Apparently I can get the thing hosted on another server which will allow me to change the HTML, but that’s extra money I don’t frankly want to spend right now. Maybe down the road, but not right now. That having been said, if this lady is serious about buying my van then I will have no reservations about buying a small server space. So… who knows.

Okay…. now for the real thing.

Things are going fairly well. My Girlfriend and I are learning things about eachother as evidenced by this somewhat rocky week this week, but that satisfies me. If everything was going well, I’d be relatively nervouse. See that’s the thing about relationships people don’t understand; If everything is working out for you two, and you’re not entering into any conflicts, you are going to be royally screwed when you do.

I learned how to bake the peanut butter chocolate awesomeness from my Girlfriend’s mom. It is made entirely out of awesome sauce.

I still haven’t gotten around to actually starting to write for Bear. Well that’s not true, I’ve started, but I keep losing my drafts as I’ve begun writing them by hand. Doing this prevents many standard crap ass errors and gives me a chance to make sure everything flows instead of just letting my mind wander… of course as a down side I keep losing the damn paper. I’m pretty excited though, I’ve got plenty of ideas. I’ve never wrote a single story from two different time frames (Story 1 = x – 7 ; Story 2 = x + 7) so this will be a huge challenge in continuity which is exactly what I need. I fail epically at continuity… epic fail.

Did I mention that my Son is starting grade school?

/Beware the Bear

Things to Come

This is a preview of what the new site is going to look like. I’d ask you to tell me what to think, but the 14 or so of you who read this thing don’t leave comments…. Ever…. Except Annalise, ’cause she’s my hero… And now I actually feel pretty guilty because it’s been forever since I read her blog.

<shrugs> I’ll fix that eventually.

I’m pretty juiced for this website update actually. I’m doing all new image tricks with photoshop, stretching my limits… It’ll be fun at any rate….

My only major concern of ‘course is this CSS thing. I don’t actually have rights to modify layouts and so on, and the widget system is something new and none of my HTML editors deal with them… and the web tutorials are sparse at best.

but it shall be done…. oh shall it ever be done.