On Life and Consequences

August 25, 2008

… It has been a really long time since I have posted, and as best as I can figure there’s a lot of stuff you’ve missed.

Firstly, and this is in no particular order, Chipmunk and I are no longer dating. There are lots of reasons why, but most of them are personal and I’m really not wanting to get into them here; My life is an open book to you, but when it involves other people… well…. It’s not very fair to them is it?

I suppose actually that’s a bit hypocritical isn’t it? I’ve complained about other people on here… meh. It’s my Blog, and I don’t feel like going over it here. That’s the magic of being a writer, no one can make you write what you don’t want to.

Unless you’re Stephanie Meyer…[Insert retarded romance bit here]

I will say that the relationship ended about as amicably as it possibly could have, and I was the one who broke it off. I don’t regret the decission, I maintain it was the right thing to do, but I do regret that that’s what it had to come to. For all my ability as a futurist, I didn’t see this part coming.

My Brother got married. It was incredible. Him and Caos are so happy and I can’t express how happy I am for them. The wedding had it’s glitches, but the sheer magnitude of love everyone expressed throughout the cerimony and reception shadowed all of it (You’re right Bro, I really do have the best laugh). I got fairly close with Caos’ family as well while I was up for the wedding, turns out her younger brother’s a big photography nut, and her other brother shares my sense of humor along with the cousins (All Aboard the Fail Boat!).

Gaming has kind of fallen off. With a couple of us entering into a full time school schedule, one person leaving for school elsewhere, and another guy that nobody fucking likes… well we’re kind of tied for time. It was good though. I’ve made some really great friends and managed to get two jobs because of the people I’ve met. I pray that God keeps them in my path and that I might mean as much to them as they do to me.

Through random happenstance I discovered that I have become a leader, and that my Brother supports this and has no quams with moving asside for me to do my thing. At his Bachelor party / yearly camp out our next door neighbor campsite had some problems with a sevearly angry/drunk person. I wasn’t heroic or anything, no jumping into a fight, but I did jump in to handle the situation. I’ve never felt God’s presence in me like I felt it then. Got to lead me my Beyonders, and damn was that exciting.

I’m writing again, a full novel now. Of course I still haven’t written what comes before the novel… which… is bad. Well maybe not bad but it’s not good either. Ideas move through my head so quickly that if I don’t find time to get them written down my brain immediately jumps to the next thing… It happens.

I’ve also decided that I am in fact going to take a vacation this year. Two of them in fact. The first to see my Sisters in Calgary and Lethbridge so I can have some time with them (since they both came down here and tried to make time for me). The second will be to see my Brother and his wife on the coast. He needs him a visiting.

And lastly, I discovered I have a saved post regarding time travel. Gotta remember to finish that and post it. Looks pretty fun.

Well that’s it for me, I’ll see yah when I see yah

/Beware the Bear

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I’m Alive

May 4, 2008

Did anybody see Pearl Harbour? Say what you want about Ben Afleck, but that was an amazing movie and I think he was a fantastic Dare Devil. On a further note, I love that part where Ben Afleck writes to his woman and it opens with “This is the first I could get out word… I’m alive.”

Anyways. I’ve been busy as you might have guessed. Exams and final projects and work and a few hours for sleep here and there. That having been said I also kind of forgot I had a blog really, just being busy doing stuff. So as an update…

I’ve joined WCHL hockey (http://www.wchlhockey.com) as the General Manager of the Florida Panthers. I’m hoping to have a webpage up and running for my team, and when I get around to it I’ll let you know.

My Girlfriend and I had our 1 year anniversary on March 26th. It was getting rocky for a while there, admittedly, but we’ve made it, and now that exams are over we’re working on strengthening what have. And now she is reminding me that I need to give one of her teddy bears a story. And I’m also told I’m not allowed to write it here.

I’ve thrown myself into another writing project (like I don’t already have enough of them on the go) and I might have some stuff to say about that soon.

For now though, I’ll leave you with this and then go on my way. Have a good one!

Lollerskates

March 16, 2008

First TrySo I’ve just recently moved my computer out of my Girlfriend’s house and into my land-lord’s place. It’s not bad, nice to have Adrianna back to somewhere I can access her first thing or at the end of the day or whatever. Also gives her family some space, which they need right now.

Anyways, the actual reason for this entry is this:

First Try

I made this years ago (cripe I’m old) when I first took my computers course. I was so involved with Penny-Arcade, Something Positive, Homestar RunnerNuklearpower(my first web comic love) and the romanticized idea of just putting something out there, and having people read it, that I made a full website (which I might make available) and a web-comic.

I think the by and large story line for the comic was going to be semi political/pop-culture commentary acted out by sprites, mostly focusing around these two. Blades was going to do angry rants, and I think my ex was going to do art or something… not sure…

Of course, as with almost all things like this, it just kind of fell by the wayside and the people I was in it with kind of just lost interest like I did.

Meh. Something cool from my past. Enjoy.

Welcome Home

February 20, 2008

When the Girlfriend is gone, the Bear will finaly re-decorate his website.

I’m not quite done yet, but I liked what I had done at this point enough to slap it up and call it something. Just beign able to edit the stylesheet is still somewhat annoying, but I forget how powerful the stylesheet can really be… And I do not want to learn how to code in friggen widgets so I’m happy to just stay here and play around with these pre-defined layouts to match what I want.

And yes, my Girlfriend is gone. She’s on vacation far and away with a family friend. It’s been interesting being here without her and this time apart has made me realize how we have come to define one another.

And as I talk to her on-line the only thing she bloody has to say is “you still cant see the s”. Thanks sparky.

What do you guys think?

Openning my Big Mouth

February 8, 2008

There will still be a site update… There will be updating… but I’ve run into a very unfortunate problem.

WordPress won’t let me edit the HTML, just the style sheet…. so let me put that in lam-ens terms…. I can’t build my own house, I can only paint one that already exists.

This isn’t a completely horrible fate, nothing I can’t recover from, just not what I was hoping for. That having  been said I really have no desire to remove myself from WordPress, I don’t think I have any earthly desire to go back to having to reference images from photodump. I want to manage it all from one place like a real boy.

Apparently I can get the thing hosted on another server which will allow me to change the HTML, but that’s extra money I don’t frankly want to spend right now. Maybe down the road, but not right now. That having been said, if this lady is serious about buying my van then I will have no reservations about buying a small server space. So… who knows.

Okay…. now for the real thing.

Things are going fairly well. My Girlfriend and I are learning things about eachother as evidenced by this somewhat rocky week this week, but that satisfies me. If everything was going well, I’d be relatively nervouse. See that’s the thing about relationships people don’t understand; If everything is working out for you two, and you’re not entering into any conflicts, you are going to be royally screwed when you do.

I learned how to bake the peanut butter chocolate awesomeness from my Girlfriend’s mom. It is made entirely out of awesome sauce.

I still haven’t gotten around to actually starting to write for Bear. Well that’s not true, I’ve started, but I keep losing my drafts as I’ve begun writing them by hand. Doing this prevents many standard crap ass errors and gives me a chance to make sure everything flows instead of just letting my mind wander… of course as a down side I keep losing the damn paper. I’m pretty excited though, I’ve got plenty of ideas. I’ve never wrote a single story from two different time frames (Story 1 = x – 7 ; Story 2 = x + 7) so this will be a huge challenge in continuity which is exactly what I need. I fail epically at continuity… epic fail.

Did I mention that my Son is starting grade school?

/Beware the Bear

I think Tuesdays and Fridays are officially going to be post days. See I have this programming class, but of course I’ve don pretty well all of this crap twice before, just with some slightly different syntax. It’s like listening to Tom Cochrain and then Rascal Flats do a song. It’s the same song, just sounds different…

In other words I’m board out of my skull.

But it has given me a chance to get back into the web swing of things. Checking Web Comics, Reading News Posts, Playing around on Facebook, Writing, and of course writing posts on my own blog. Now the only thing I really need is for this computer to have Photoshop so I can work on the layout.

My Girlfriend has a slight incling to RPGs. I rented one the other day to play while she did homework and she really got into it and has hinted that she might enjoy playing it with me. The game is “Mass Effect” and I have to say, I highly recommend it at this point. I mean, I haven’t gone that far into it… but I’m REALLY liking the gameplay right now. Most games that I’ve played with the whole “Treat people like dirt or treat them well and this will change how people react to you” thing have generally sucked and have only changed one or two things at the very end of the game… The way I’ve treated people thus far has already had drastic effects. I really can’t wait to get into it.

Last Sunday was gaming night. Myself Spartan, The Bassist, The Peck, and [Nick Name Pending] started our D&D campaign…. and it went fairly well I have to say. The funny thing of course is we’re not playing the campaign I made for us. Seriously I must have spent 10 hours making up this campaign about invaders from the West attacking the Orient and then I started this completely random campaign to waste time while we waiting for The Peck and they loved it and that’s all we played, and that’s what the want to continue to play…

Go figure… of course now this has kind of become a test for me… How far can I go making things up as we go allong?

Where We’re Headed Now.

January 25, 2008

Oh, we’re headed places, let me tell you.

So there’s a new feature that’s been added to WordPress that makes me all happy on the inside…

The free space available on WordPress has been updated to 3GB. WordPress is now officialy made of awesome sauce. That’s right, I said it.

I’m actually in class right now. Tee hee hee. I really love my class too. I get to crack jokes with a bunch of guys who are taking this course because they have to, which is also crossed with they need to pass it but don’t care enough to do that well. As a teacher this would annoy me, but as a fellow student, this is high gorramn hillarious.

My girlfriend liked the last half of her gift, which I finally managed to finish and give to her (It really sucks being kicked out of your house). She’s still annoyed with the cliff hanger fashion I write with however, but I’m excited to continue with it. I think that’s kidn of been symbiotic part of our relationship. She enjoys having something written for her, and I enjoy having someone who will ‘push’ a bit for some of my writing so I can keep up with it.

Spelling/Grammar (like Manor/Manner) is still a problem… more on the spelling side of things but meh. She’s volunteered to be my editor… a mistake that I will not give her time to regreat.

Well now that I have this space I’m obviously going to have to upload more pictures….. of course first I’ll need a camera… crap…. well atleast I can start on a layout. Now all I have to do is wait for them to offer CSS formatting for free :P… well it is only 14 bucks…. I’ll ponder this for a time.

/I’m Still Here

It Happens

January 15, 2008

An update. shocking, I know.

Hopefully I’ll be getting into the full swing of this as time goes on. It’d be nice anyway. We’ll see.

… You know you’re a crappy blogger when you can’t remember what was in your last bloody post.

Okay, I’ve read my last couple posts so now I know where we left off. I have a place to stay now that isn’t my Girlfriend’s house. I am being housed by a couple of amazing people, and this again is a little showing of how God works. I never really knew this couple before. A few one time encounters and a hello when I had seen them at Church, but beyond that not much. Then the husband (We’ll call him “Chief Red”) and I teamed up for a conference we were both speaking at to organize some stuff for the kids at the conference. While this may only have lead to a friendship upgraded slightly from acquaintance; I got to know Chief Red, he got to know me and a seed was planted.

When things took a turn for the worst I asked Chief Red if I could perhaps rent a room. It was kind of out of my means, and I was ready to pass when Chief Red offered the room to me for whatever I could afford until I got back on my feet.

I owe big thanks to Chief Red.

..
.
Chiefly because he’s a nice guy! (Little pun there for Cucumber… not that he reads this thing).

So… outside of that… things are progressing nicely. The boat is still sailing and I’ve got a little more control over the steering (though I am trying to give that over to God) and less and less communication with Family V1.0. Family V2.3 has been mucho helpful and supportive and they continue to bring a smile to my face when I think about how kind and generous they’ve been to me.

But now, I think, it is time for me to move onto the portion of our show where I talk about what’s going on.

My job has mad a position for me in my department so I can get more hours in the week without incessant begging. I’m sure Auntie Tammy grew tired of her retarded nephew (One day at work I asked Tammy to rearrange one of my shifts for me and she did so to the eternal annoyance of Barry who couldn’t get her to do anything for him (mostly because he was notoriously lazy when I wasn’t around). He figured the reason for this was simple “You’re like the retarded nephew she never wanted”. I told this to ‘Auntie’ Tammy; she thought this was hilarious and readily agreed) whining all the time so I imagine that played into this whole thing.

That and I work bloody hard. Always favour the guy who busts his ass for you… this will pay off in the long run.

Class is going well save for our programming class which is off to a slow start because they ordered the wrong textbooks and installed the wrong program for us.

But such as life. That’s right. As. I don’t care if you think it should be is.

OH! I almost forgot! I saw an old friend of mine last night at work and I heard some sad news. Her sister has a brain tumor, and all attempts up to now to remove it surgically have met with failure. She’s getting ready for Chemotherapy but they family isn’t terribly confident that things will turn out for the better. For those of you that pray, if you could pray about this that would be great.

-I’m Still Standing

PS: I still want a Hot Dog.

Ohana

January 2, 2008

Life is kind of funny. It’s amazing how little things fall together so nicely in just such a fashion that you go ‘woah’. Buying a Sleeping Bag rated for -15 weather for camping in the summertime was really stupid at the time… but then I became homeless. This is an example of course, because I haven’t become homeless. Instead quite an amazing thing has happened to me.

I have found a Family. My Girlfriend, who I cannot express enough love for (I love you!), talked to her parents some time before this whole thing became what it is and they decided that should I ever be removed from the house they would take care of me… And they have. I’ve had several meals, good people to unload on, and a sense of Ohana that I’ve never had before. Ever. I’ve never had the absolute knowledge that the roof I slept under was one that would in fact shelter me, and would not be pulled out from under my feet. I’ve never known for certain that the two people sleeping down the hall cared a great deal about me and would concern themselves with everything that’s happening, but also respect my opinion and my decision no matter what. I’ve never felt like it would be inconceivable to leave me behind, that I was not an inconvenience.

This past week or so has been… Incredible, but this word fails to describe just how amazing things have been. I will never, in all my years of living and writing and telling stories, be able to express in words what this has meant to me.

I love you guys, thanks… And for now that will have to do.

I don’t hate my family (Version 1.0), but I am done with that part of my life. They are not truly interested in being involved with me and probably never were. It’s not healthy for me to be there and it is time for me to go. Things probably won’t get much better, talking with my Girlfriend’s dad (a very wise and brilliant accountant) has brought me understanding of that (which is wonderful because all I had for that was a feeling of sadness) and with that understanding acceptance… And with that acceptance strength.

I’ve known all along that there are those who would stand by me, those who cared and loved me for exactly who I am and nothing more, but… Not so much that I allowed myself the strength they were offering. Being here has made me realize it’s not enough to offer a brother the help he needs to move his boulder up the hill. Some times you have to ask a brother to help you move your own. I’m learning this.

Albeit slowly but hey, what’ya want from me?

I know what I want from me. A hot dog. With Ketchup and Mustard and Relish…. ooooooh baby.

I’ve done what I can to adjust the sails, and I’ve found it much easier to do so with other people on the boat (and how much easier it is when you don’t have to twist their arms to get on the thing). I’m headed for uncharted waters though. There could be chop, or white caps, or rainbow trout… I really don’t know…

But I’m excited.

P.S. The Boat’s name is Laredo.

My Girlfriend tried her hand at cooking today.

Not Kraft Dinner.

Real food. Incredible, I know. Guiness, and the CDC, wait on bated breath. It was pretty good actually. It had a kick to it.

The cooking process was….. interesting. Pleanty of things she didn’t know (e.g. Don’t throw the meat into the pan) and some things she did (e.g. washing vegetables is good!). I helped, a little more than I was supposed to, but I’m glad I did as it was a very stressful time for her.

We lived for those of you concerned… A few intestinal problems, but we’re still kicking.

Had my first Chem class, and I’m taking it with the Emperor’s Flower as it turns out so it’s not half bad… Except for this really Gorramn annoying kid who sits in front of us. He has thick glasses, talks in a weird voice, contridicts the teacher constantly, thinks he knows everything… and my lady says that he failed last year doing the same thing. She was actually very annoyed with him. You should see her. She’s looking for her Dad’s gun right now.

We shall call this man… Doctor Spanky.

Such as life I suppose…. I was called a know it all during my computers courses I suppose…. even given the nickname Wizard….. of course I did know pretty damn close to everything, so I had the crap to back it up. Hoorah.

Oh, and I won a Drumbstick (fancy frozen ice-cream cone) today because my Girlfriend, her sister, and another girl couldn’t push me into a wall. They whined, I gloated. Did a little MC Hammer dance too…. It was great. Like Mozzerella cheese is great.

Well that’s all I have to say for now. Not sure if updates will become more regular, but I’ll try… This was easier when I had a laptop…. Something I will consider for down the line.

I’m Still Standing.