The Once and Legendary…

March 12, 2009

Note: There’s something I need to explain before you read this so you can begin to understand what is going on. As a writer, as much as someone like me is or ever will be a writer, I very rarely create my characters. In fact, more often then not I don’t really create any of it. Things just show up there. I mean I have put things there, but I can always tell when re reading my works that I put it there. If any of my work is decent it shows up there all on it’s own. I will watch a character walk into something, I will see how he reacts, and where he goes next and I will write this down. I know this sounds ridiculous but for me to say that I thought out every inch of everything good I’ve ever written, would be a complete and utter lie. (moo).

There something else interesting that has come along with this, and if the last part made you think I was a little crazy, this next part will definitely bring you to call the men from the padded house… I occasionally converse with these characters. I have conversations with them and I don’t really have any control over what they’re going to say… I just… write down what they’re telling me.

I know it sounds silly so I’m going to stop explaining it at risk of bringing myself to call the happy house and just post this conversation that I had with one of my oldest characters. Keep in mind that he and I have some understandings, we know what the subject is so we don’t have to explain it but that goes along with little things as well. He knows what I mean when I talk about “but that almost always works out for the better” and the like because most times I don’t have to explain it to him.

Also for readability’s sake I’ve bolded him… Not that he would normally do that… He doesn’t shout.


I never thought I’d see you here.

You had to know I’d come. You wrote the motto.

I did, but I had not thought it would bring you from beyond the veil.

Well you helped. You couldn’t possibly expect that in the process of re-writing me I wouldn’t sneak into your head again.

…I’m lost.

This is new for you.


Your workings are generally simple, a machine of hopeless romantics and ideals, and pragmatism.

I know.

You’ve never had trouble consulting this before, what seems to be the problem now?

There’s something else there.

The heart.


It’s a puzzle to be sure.

On the one hand I have the simple engine that tells me exactly what I should do and why. It has very rarely misguided and even then that almost always works out for the better.

Because of the hidden gear.



But then there’s this other thing that has begun to whisper. Partially honor, but I think even that is involved in this well of emotion.

You cannot be guided by emotion-

I know that.

-it would undoubtedly lead to-

Hey! I know, alright?

Then why are we here?

Because it’s not as simple as all that.

How so?

You leaped to save a little girl from plummeting to her doom. Your engine is just as simple as mine and it would have told you that had the girl died, while tragic, it would have solved a lot of immediate problems. And it wasn’t even the hidden gear that told you to jump either… it was emotion.

It was.

Why are you here?

Because you called for me.

Yes well… Normally you have answers for me.

In this case I think the answer is the question.

… Explain.

The question is which engine do you consult? That simple hopeless romantic/pragmatic box that normally runs you? The emotional box that brings us to do great, and sometimes terrible things?

I suppose you’re-



Or, do you wait for an answer from the hidden gear?

… What if it’s an answer I don’t like?

Does that matter?

You know when that hidden gear turns, you can tell when it’s the thing that brings about your answers from your simple machine. Be patient. Have faith. Wait for it’s gears to turn. And when you have your answer thank that gear and go about it’s work.

… Thank you.


I have to tell you something about my town. This town thrives on four things:

1) Coffee Shops
2) Hockey (we have three full sized hockey rinks on the same street and one flooded park every winter)
3) The Mills (pulp, and mill)
3.5) (I don’t like the way the decimal floats up in the blog entry page…. actually it’s the numbers that are drooped lower…. oh yeah, the list) The Mines. And this is a .5 because there are no mines in or near my town, they’re all like an hour and a half away.
4) Specialty Restaurants/Shops.

Of course there are other jobs in town, stores, fast food restaurants, construction, that kind of crap… but by and large this is the stuff here.

Now the only thing that hasn’t really been super effected by the recent recession is Hockey. This town fucking loves hockey and we’ve had a guy in the Stanley Cup play offs every year for the past 5. In fact, since the recession attendance at the local hockey rink has almost doubled. Coffee Shops are still doing pretty well because this town fucking loves coffee. I don’t get it honestly, but then again I fricken hate coffee. We have two locally owned coffee companies (one of them has two locations), one locally owned coffee company that’s opened seasonally, a Tim Hortons (a second one is on it’s way) and a Starbucks. In talking to owners/employees of these places they say that business hasn’t really been effected by the downturn.

The mills have been effected a fair amount. We have a saw mill that’s always been in a bit of trouble but they’ve been closed down about a month longer than they were supposed to and recently the pulp mill laid off some guys for six weeks (this effects my father actually).

But the thing that bugs me are the specialty restaurants/shops. I work for a pizza place in town, but I won’t tell you which one… unless I already have…. because… well I might have. It’s part of a pizza chain. Anyways, there’s a specialty pizza place in town called Mojo’s Pizza. Mojo’s Pizza, in the words of GMcC “Rocks Shit”. This is the best pizza place I have ever ate at hands down. It blows the pizza place I work for out of the water easily.

And recently they closed down.

The quality of food and the level of service was absolutely second to none. Their pizza was never greasy and done in the pan crust deep dish style. Loaded with toppings and a crust that is to die for it was known to make people orgasm in their pants (or maybe that was just me). The only downside was cost, and really, it wasn’t THAT expensive. $3.50 a slice or $7.50 for two slices and a drink. A whole pizza cost twenty dollars and it was big, 21″ or something like that, it was amazing, and they had to close. The economy had hit them pretty hard and the place was becoming this dead end street for them. They  had never lost money on the place, always paid bills, and had amazing food. You’d think the bank would give them a loan to get a bigger place? No. Even when the economy was good they refused. This restaurant, started by two kids I went to school with was fucking amazing and it was drowned by a bunch of fucking suits.

And the thing that REALLY gets my goat about all of this? The whole fucking thing has gotten this bad because of paranoia. Businesses were told that tough times were coming so they laid of staff and cut back hours. Then, low and behold, the tough times came. Why? Because no one could afford to spend any money! They weren’t making any so they couldn’t spend it on anything! How stupid are you people!? Of course people aren’t buying anything, they don’t have any money to spend because you laid them off/fired them! BLARGH!

I am so mad that this shop, this place I ate lunch at every friday or saturday afternoon when I picked up my comic books so I could do two of my favourite things at once (eat pizza, and and read comic books), and now they’re gone. I spent $45 and I was the last customer they ever sold pizza to. The pizzas are currently in my freezer, packaged so I may select from any four of my favorite flavours and enjoy my comic books while I consume their food. This will be happiness to me for eight Saturday afternoons.

They’ve both got jobs lined up. One is going to apprentice under a professional chef at a golf course, and the other is going to be a supervisor at a local food chain (thank God it’s not fast food). I will visit them both as the opportunities come up, and I will remind them both how much I loved their food.

It’s sad that extreme paranoia has brought us to this. And I can only pray that something turns it around before another thing that I love disappears.