The Long Hard Road

April 2, 2009

So I got fired from my job recently. A less than thrilling ordeal that mostly involved being stabbed in the back. A couple months ago I tried to host a staff meeting so that way we could come up with ideas that might help turn the business around. Now the reason I was trying to host this staff meeting was the owner and manager (owner’s son) had no interest whatsoever in hosting a staff meeting; they simply didn’t want to pay for it. Fine.

At the end of the day I wasn’t sure if I should invite management, and then was advised by one of the assistant managers that it might mean more to the owner if it just came from staff. The staff initially sounded really stoked about the idea, but within a few days voices of decent arose; people were coming up with premptive excuses not to go, blah blah blah… So I called it off.

Well somehow the manager found out, and decided that I needed to be fired. Somebody squawked and he managed to find enough people to go along with him, ignoring other voices of decent. It happens.

So now I’m unemployed. I’m looking for work but of course the economy mostly dictates I’m not going to find it, or if I do it won’t likely have the hours I’ll need. So I’m relying mostly on my home business to see me through at this point. Not sure how that’s going to go, but there it is.

I’ve had to rely on faith a lot lately, which is a lot harder for me in desperate times than it is in good time oddly enough. It’s scary. I am scared. I don’t know what’s going to come of this, and I have no expectations. Just prayer. That’s all I have right now.

Of course, I know now that’s all I need. I was in Calgary the last few days and I got to see my sister, which was so great. On my way to her house I really screwed up my knee and it hurt like a son of a gun. I nearly fell two more times so I started praying that God would help me stay on my feet, and keep me safe. And God left me with a feeling of safety. There was this rush, an overwhelming feeling of safety, of something that was saying “I’m not going to let you fall. I will always be here. Wait on me.” and it was…. I needed it. I really needed it.

When I got home I was having trouble sleeping, as always, so I watched some TV and for the first time I really listened to that Honey Nut Cheerios commercial featuring “I Try” a Macy Grey cover by Ben Taylor. I downloaded the song and I’ve been listening to it almost non stop. I don’t know why, this has resonated with my relationship with God. I’ve felt closer, and it’s just reminded me more and more that God is by my side, and he has not, nor will he ever leave…

It feels good.

Anyway, not much else to say right now so I’m going to leave it as is.

I’ll catch you later.

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